


Be Alright

by indafallen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indafallen/pseuds/indafallen
Summary: I keep staring at the wall. I don’t know if I should feel relieved that he doesn’t have feelings for her or devastated that he would risk our relationship for someone he doesn’t even care about.I look back at him, “I thought I could change you,” I say quietly before letting out a small hollow laugh. “Be different somehow.”
Relationships: Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	Be Alright

I think I’m gonna puke. The smeared red lipstick on their faces, hair tangled together, and loud breathy moans emitting from their lips. It’s like they were asking to get caught. I back away from the kissing couple against the wall and run down the hallway. I don’t know where I’m going. Just away from them. I find a hidden alcove near the Astronomy Tower and rush inside. I take a deep breath and lean my back against the cold wall.

Sirius and I have been kind of distant lately. Well, more like months actually. I guess the spark has kind of left. We no longer speak passionately about our hopes and dreams. We just talk about nothing to fill the silence, trying to remember what it used to be like. Communication has never been our forte, but it’s like we don’t try anymore. We haven’t even argued or fought lately. It’s like we’re just kind of tired of it all and can’t be bothered.

The scene of them kissing replays in my head. I realise I’m not very upset about it for some reason. Shouldn’t I be crying right now? I caught my boyfriend snogging my roommate in the hallway for Merlin’s sake. No, I _am_ upset right now. But I think I’m more just disappointed. First that he would be so careless about it, second that he chose Marlene out of all people, and third that I might lose him. Not as a boyfriend, but as a friend.

My back slides down the wall until I’m sitting on the ground. I hear footsteps coming closer and I look up to see Sirius coming into the alcove. His shirt is wrinkled, and his eyes are sad and distant. I realize I don’t think I’ve seen them light up in my presence for a while. I give him a weak smile and gesture for him to sit down beside me. He places himself down close to me with our thighs lightly touching.

“How did you find me?” I ask, staring at the wall.

“I saw you running away and looked on the Map to find where you went,” he answers and I nod. “I’m sorry, Cass,” he says softly, his blue eyes studying me. I look up at him and see his hair is still messed up.

I turn away from him and let out a dark laugh. “Did you really have to do it with Marlene?” I used to get jealous when he flirted with her. They dated back in fifth year. However, lately, I haven’t had the energy to get mad at him for it.

He sighs. “I’m really sorry. I was a coward, and Marlene was the easiest choice. I don’t even have feelings for her.” I keep staring at the wall. I don’t know if I should feel relieved that he doesn’t have feelings for her or devastated that he would risk our relationship for someone he doesn’t even care about. I realise that I don’t feel either.

I look back at him, “I thought I could change you,” I say quietly before letting out a small hollow laugh. “Be different somehow.”

“You were. You _are_ ,” he says strongly, staring into my eyes. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen in them for a while. “Don’t blame yourself, Cassie. This is all on me. I relapsed back onto terrible habits, and I hurt you,” he tells me with regret.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much, Sirius,” I say smirking at him. “What you did was shitty, but I’m actually not too upset about it. Our relationship has been going downhill for a while.” He turns back to look at the wall in front of us.

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“And I forgive you,” I say, taking his hand in mine. His head turns to me in hope. I look down at his lips and laugh. “Ugh, also you still have her lipstick on you.” I release his hand to wipe it off with my thumb.

He smiles at me and thinks for a second before saying, “We were a really good couple for a while though, right?” I turn back to the wall and think about his question for a moment. I remember we used to have fun together, could make each other laugh. We were close even before we started dating. When he asked me out, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but I said yes anyway.

“Yeah, I think so. But I guess we were just better off as friends,” I finally say sadly.

He nods. “You know I still love you,” he says after a moment.

“Yeah, I love you, too.” I look at him in understanding. He smiles softly and slowly leans his head closer to me. He places his warm hand on my cheek and leans down to place his lips on mine. For a few seconds, it feels like how it used to be. My stomach flutters and my thoughts pause, but the feeling disappears as soon as he pulls away.

“I still want to be friends. If you want that too,” I say quietly.

He nods his head and says, “I do too. I don’t think I could not have you in my life, Cass.”

I grin at him and say, “You know when I pictured us breaking up, it wasn’t this civil.”

He chuckles at me and says, “I guess we like each other too much to ruin it.” He pauses for a second to think. He raises his eyebrow to me and asks, “What exactly did you picture our break up as?”

I widened my eyes at him in horror. “Oh, it was terrible. Hexes flying everywhere. Tears streaming down our faces. Glass shattering around us,” I say seriously, trying not to grin.

He laughs and says, “That would have been exciting.” I lean my head on his shoulder and take his hand in mine again. We stay there for a while just listening to each other breathe quietly, trying to grasp on to the feeling of being a couple for the last time before we have to go back outside. It’s the nicest it has felt in months, and I think we’re both going to miss it. But I know we'll be alright. We’ll still be in each other’s lives.

“We should go. I probably need to talk to Marlene,” I say, breaking us out of our trance. I take my head off his shoulder and release his hand before standing up. I brush the dust off my clothes and extend my hand down to him. He takes it, and I help him off the ground.

He winces before asking, “Are you guys going to be okay?”

I nod and say, “Yeah, I’m sure she’s regretting it and feels much worse about it than I did.”

“Glad to know I’m able to affect you so much,” he says sarcastically.

I roll my eyes and chuckle. “You’ll be fine. Come on,” I say, grabbing his hand and pulling us both out of the alcove. The cool air hits us in the face, and we take a deep breath. I let go of his hand, and we walk back to the Gryffindor Tower together, feeling more at ease than we had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired to write this after listening to "Two Ghosts" by Harry styles. It kind of spiraled in to this once I started writing. I also slightly reference "Fine Line". Both great songs. 10/10 recommend listening to them.


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